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Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Ableism, Other -Isms, And Why I Prefer "Seinfeld" to "Friends"

"Seinfeld" logo - "Seinfeld" in red letters against a yellow oval


I don't blog about disability in media very often, but Andrew Pulrang profiled "Seinfeld" on his Disability Thinking podcast recently, and it really made me think. (He'll be posting a second podcast on "Seinfeld" in the near future; there really is a lot to talk about when it comes to this show. Keep watch disabilitythinking.blogspot.ca for details. Andrew's first podcast and "Seinfeld" and disability is here.)

I love "Seinfeld". I've seen every episode several times, and will still watch the reruns and find them funny. My family can have entire conversations in snippets of "Seinfeld" dialogue, which I realize isn't necessarily something of which to be proud, but there it is.

I've managed to retain this level of fandom despite being achingly aware that over its run "Seinfeld" had moments of blatant racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, classism, and probably just about every other "-ism" that you can think of, including just plain bad taste. Apparently I'm not the only one that noticed - Sola Agustsson recently wrote an article for Alternet.com about sexism and racism in "Seinfeld", "10 'Seinfeld' Episodes That Might Be Considered Sexist and Racist Today".

But she also got taken down in comments on her article for not understanding the thing that lets me (mostly) gloss over the glaring prejudices of the four main "Seinfeld" characters: The whole point of the show was that Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are supposed to be terrible people. They're shallow and self-absorbed, they use people with little guilt and almost zero empathy, and they rarely do anything unless there's something in it for them.

They wanted to be nicer people - but only because of how their real orientation to the world made them look to others, and not out of any real concern for those around them. This is what made the show subversive, ironic, and frankly, hilarious, because the harder the four main characters tried to do "the right thing", the more apparent it became that they were really just awful people who didn't care at all.

Disabled People in "Seinfeld"


Take one of the episodes that Andrew rightfully says got the most attention and is about disability. Jerry, also a comedian in the show, promises a fan that he'll go see his son, a "bubble boy" that has to live behind a plastic partition in his parents' home because of his poor immune system.

(We learn later that everyone but his mother, including the people in his town, call him "The Bubble Boy", which is a disability issue all by itself, but not one that we can blame on the four main characters. We don't even learn his name until well after George and his fiancee Susan meet him. It's an indictment of how society treats him. )

George and Susan arrive at the house first and find not a bubble "boy", but a fully grown, very rude bubble "man" who eventually asks Susan to take off her top (the opposite of the "disabled people are sweet and polite" stereotype that we see so much in the media; Andrew discusses this in his podcast.)  Suppressing the urge to respond negatively to the Bubble Boy's rudeness (which would be "politically incorrect"), George and Susan allow themselves to be talked into a game of Trivial Pursuit. When George and the "Bubble Boy" disagree over the pronunciation of an answer, George finally loses control, the "Bubble Boy" starts to strangle George and George loses control, stabbing at the plastic partition and deflating the "bubble". His desire to be politically correct has been overcome by his temper, which often happens with George.

"Seinfeld" did a good job of highlighting society's ableism as well as the main characters'. That's difficult to do. It requires very good writing.

Now, I don't know about the writing process for "Seinfeld", but it seemed that each week the writers came up with a character (sometimes two), said "What if we took a person out there with this set of characteristics and put them in the group's path", and that was pretty much that character's role. Mostly they were romantic interests, like Elaine's elderly boyfriend, a stroke survivor who required a lot of care. One week it was the Bubble Boy. There were a few characters that had brief story arcs, like the man stalking Elaine and Jerry (who the writers imply has a mental health diagnosis, but never say what it is.)

Are Disabled People Props in Seinfeld?


Andrew also discusses in his podcast the idea that you could accuse the writers of making disabled characters props, in "Seinfeld". However, with the exception of a small group of secondary characters that had a bit of backstory, everyone in "Seinfeld" besides the main four characters were props. They mostly got burned somehow by being involved with Seinfeld and his group, presumably never to appear again, and the underlying message at the end of each episode was, right up to the group's one-year imprisonment at the series end for not helping someone who was being mugged, "Don't treat people like this group does. They're assholes."

Unlike other sitcoms in the 90s and after.

Are the Characters in "Friends" and "How I Met Your Mother?" actually Likeable?


I enjoyed "Friends" in the 90s, and I found it amusing when I rewatched it on Netflix. However, I noticed the second time around that this group that was supposed to be so close also:

  • Spent a lot of time picking on each other. To the point where it often seemed mean.

  • Were very competitive, and sometimes threw each other under the bus.

  • Couldn't be happy for each other if a positive change for one meant change for the group.

  • Watched the womanizer of the group treat his dates like crap and never called him on it.

  • Sometimes deliberately behaved in ways that negatively affected another friend's career.

These people were assholes, but we were supposed to love them. And they set the mold for another "Friends"-types show that debuted in 2005, with a similarly dysfunctional peer group that we're supposed to love.

"How I Met Your Mother" had the same pattern of young people living and dating in New York, hanging out in a bar instead of a coffee shop, but ramped up the sexism to the nth degree compared to "Friends" (and "Seinfeld", for that matter).  Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson makes "Friends'" Joey Tribiani look like a lightweight womanizer. Barney sometimes gets called on the womanizing, but more often than not friend Ted is his wingman. At one point, "HIMYM" manages to work approval of Barney's womanizing and slut-shaming of one of the female members into the same show.

A peripheral character, a therapist that one of the main characters dates at one point, says about the 5 main characters: "‘You’re all the most codependent, incestuous, controlling group people I’ve ever met!" There was an almost identical scene in friends where a therapist that Phoebe is dating offers about the main characters: "Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!."

CBS was widely criticized for a racist episode of "How I Met Your Mother", and on my rewatching of that series I saw some references that I was surprised got by the network (Mexican Wrestler Ted, for example).  There are no disabled characters in the show. At least in "Friends" Chandler dates a disabled woman for an episode. She dumps him, and (surprisingly) comes out looking like the decidedly shallower of the two.

The point is that at least "Seinfeld" was honest. It didn't try to be anything but what it was - stories about terrible people that wanted to nice, but didn't really want to give anything up to do it.  So they'd do the "politically correct" thing, inadvertently out themselves as being anti-social and barely able to cope with the friendship between the four of them, and we'd all tune in next week to see in what new way they could ruin someone's life. The thing is, "Friends" and "HIMYM" (and there may be others that I just haven't seen) weren't any different - more peripheral characters with story arcs, maybe, but ultimately? Stories about terrible people...more actively masquerading as nice people.

However, they sure were branded to be people that you should trust and love and emulate.

That feels dishonest to me.

And I'm not going to feel guilty about watching "Seinfeld" until people start talking more realistically about that.

More reasons why you wouldn't want to be friends with the "Friends"

Keep watch disabilitythinking.blogspot.ca for details on Andrew's second podcast on "Seinfeld" and disability, and listen to the first one here.

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